Cheap, Noncommittal Guy Makes Plus One Pay for Boss's Wedding Gift

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Oct 22, 2022 2:00 PM EDT

This woman was asked to be the date of the guy she's currently seeing for his boss's wedding. Sounds like it could be a promising next step in their relationship, though it is curious he would take her to a wedding before asking if she would be his girlfriend. Curious, but not entirely unheard of. Anyway, things took a turn after the wedding when he reached out to ask for her half of the money for his $160 gift to his boss. Now, mind you: this woman only met the bride and groom at the wedding, she has no other connection with the people involved, and their relationship still hasn't seen any further steps. He also didn't ask if she'd be willing to pay either. When she shared her story via this thread on Reddit's r/dating subreddit for advice, the Reddit community was quick to tell the original poster to dump this guy ASAP. She even later said she can't see a future with him because of other comments he's made. Don't feel bad looking cheap. Dump his a$$! 

 

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  • 01
    Font - Went as +1 to wedding and now asked to contribute to the gift - is this normal etiquette? I Need Advice I've been dating a 33M for a couple months now - we haven't defined the relationship or called ourselves exclusive yet. He asked me a month ago to go to a wedding with him - it was his boss's son (he's never met him) but apparently the boss is super friendly with staff and invited everyone with a +1. We went this past weekend and had a wonderful time, it was super fancy.
    via u/missali727
  • 02
    Font - Today he texted me asking if I could contribute $80 to the gift he bought for the couple (it was $160 gift card) I don't mean to be cheap but I was very surprised he asked me to do so afterwards. I didn't know the couple at all and it wasn't like his friend's wedding or anything. Am I just overreacting? Now I'm also in an awkward position where I can't really say no as then I look like a terrible person...I know it's not THAT much but it's still money I didn't know I was going to have to
    via u/missali727
  • 03
    Font - 8aL0Tb8bzBIGnow. 19 hr. ago No, that's not normal etiquette. He invited you as his +1. He was the person invited while you were his guest. If you personally knew the bride or groom and was directly invited then I would say sharing the cost with him is understandable. It's not right for him to ask for money from you.
    via u/missali727
  • 04
    Font - ichbinurkelgrue. 10 hr. ago In fact, most people would say he's violating plenty of etiquette rules here.
    via u/missali727
  • 05
    Font - Lakersrock111. 9 hr. ago This. OP make him pay, if he can't commit and make you his gf, he also can't make you do this. This guy is cheap. And noncommittal.
    via u/missali727
  • 06
    Gesture - C0333 20 hr. ago This is a red flag. How can someone be this much of a knob?
    via u/missali727
  • 07
    Font - Clementine 90 - 19 hr. ago Just be honest and say you didn't budget for that and would not have attended the wedding if you knew it was going to be asked. In a separate convo be honest and say you would rather not date anymore bc you have different life goals. Cut him loose!
    via u/missali727
  • 08
    Organism - Significant Two4868 20 hr. ago Wth yeah that's a no. Tell him to stop being cheap
    via u/missali727
  • 09
    Font - hihelloneighboroonie. 19 hr. ago Absolutely not. My ex (of many, many years) went to a number of the weddings of my friends with me as my +1 and I never once asked him to contribute to the gift. Nor would I have had I been his +1 to the wedding of a friend of his, unless we truly were both friends of theirs.
    via u/missali727
  • 10
    Font - ichbinurkelgrue. 9 hr. ago And of top of that asking AFTER the wedding! No ma'am
    via u/missali727
  • 11
    Rectangle - Windbag1980 · 20 hr. ago. edited 13 hr. ago oh you should say no. Boy howdy, should you ever say no.
    via u/missali727
  • 12
    Font - missali727 OP 20 hr. ago I feel like it's easier said then done lol I worry I'm gonna come off as ungrateful or cheap myself declining to contribute...
    via u/missali727
  • 13
    Font - Itchy_Network_5215 • 19 hr. ago . I get where you're coming from. Do you see yourself in a long term relationship with this person?
    via u/missali727
  • 14
    Font - missali727 OP. 19 hr. ago No I unfortunately don't. The morning after the wedding we were just talking generally about the future and I found out he doesn't really believe in marriage and is unsure about wanting children in the future. I think these are dealbreakers in the long run...
    via u/missali727
  • 15
    Organism - Shorty66678. 19 hr. ago Definitely do not give him any money then.
    via u/missali727

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dating fails relationships wedding couples reddit thread Reddit cheap dating
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